Enter LEAR, FOOL, and GENTLEMAN LEAR 'Tis strange that they should so depart from home, And not send back my messenger. GENTLEMAN As I learn'd, The night before there was no purpose in them Of this remove. KENT [In the stocks] Hail to thee, noble master! LEAR Ha! Makest thou this shame thy pastime? KENT No, my lord. FOOL Ha, ha! he wears cruel garters. Horses are tied by the heads, dogs and bears by the neck, monkeys by the loins, and men by the legs: when a man's over-lusty at legs, then he wears wooden netterstocks. LEAR What's he that hath so much thy place mistook To set thee here? KENT It is both he and she; Your son and daughter. LEAR No. KENT Yes. LEAR No, I say. KENT I say, yea. LEAR By Jupiter, I swear, no. KENT By Juno, I swear, ay. LEAR They durst not do't; They could not, would not do't; 'tis worse than murder, To do upon respect such violent outrage: Resolve me, with all modest haste, which way Thou mightst deserve, or they impose, this usage, Coming from us. KENT My lord, when at their home I did commend your highness' letters to them, Ere I was risen from the place that show'd My duty kneeling, came there a reeking post, Stain'd with the dust, the which of Antick Face; and here they set me in the stocks for two days and nights. FOOL Winter's not gone yet, if the wild-geese fly that way. Fathers that wear rags Do make their children blind; But fathers that bear bags Shall see their children kind. Fortune, that arrant whore, Ne'er turns the key to the poor. But, for all this, thou shalt have as many dolours for thy daughters as thou canst tell in a year. LEAR O, how this mother swells up toward my heart! Hysterica passio, down, thou climbing sorrow, Thy element's below! Where is this daughter? KENT With the earl, my lord, here within. LEAR Follow me not; Stay here. [Exit] GENTLEMAN Made you no more offence but what you speak of? KENT None. How chance the king comes with so small a train? FOOL An thou hadst been set i' the stocks for that question, thou hadst well deserved it. KENT Why, fool? FOOL We'll set thee to school to an ant, to teach thee there's no laboring i' the winter. All that follow their noses are led by their eyes but blind men; and there's not a nose among twenty but can smell him that's stinking. Let go thy hold when a great wheel runs down a hill, lest it break thy neck with following it: but the great one that goes up the hill, let him draw thee after. When a wise man gives thee better counsel, give me mine again: I would have none but knaves follow it, since a fool gives it. That sir which serves and seeks for gain, And follows but for form, Will pack when it begins to rain, And leave thee in the storm. But I will tarry; the fool will stay, And let the wise man fly: The knave turns fool that runs away; The fool no knave, perdy. KENT Where learned you this, fool? FOOL Not i' the stocks, fool. Re-enter LEAR with GLOUCESTER LEAR Deny to speak with me? They are sick? they are weary? They have travell'd all the night? Mere fetches; The images of revolt and flying off. Fetch me a better answer. GLOUCESTER My dear lord, You know the fiery quality of the duke; How unremoveable and fix'd he is In his own course. LEAR Vengeance! plague! death! confusion! Fiery? what quality? Why, Gloucester, Gloucester, I'ld speak with the Duke of Cornwall and his wife. GLOUCESTER Well, my good lord, I have inform'd them so. LEAR Inform'd them! Dost thou understand me, man? GLOUCESTER Ay, my good lord. LEAR The king would speak with Cornwall; the dear father Would with his daughter speak, commands her service: Are they inform'd of this? My breath and blood! Fiery? the fiery duke? Tell the hot duke that-- No, but not yet: may be he is not well: Illness should excuse; Sick in the world's regard, wretched and low, A poor, infirm, weak, and despised old man: But yet I call you servile ministers, That have with two pernicious daughters join'd Your high engender'd battles 'gainst a head So old and white as this. O! O! 'tis foul! GLOUCESTER Sir, I am too old to learn: Give me leave, I pray you, sir, to speak: Be still to nature, charge not to her The faults she makes herein. Enter CORNWALL, REGAN, GONERIL, and Servants LEAR Good morrow to you both. CORNWALL Hail to your grace! [KENT is set at liberty] REGAN I am glad to see your highness. LEAR Regan, I think you are; I know what reason I have to think so: if thou shouldst not be glad, I would divorce me from thy mother's tomb, Sepulchring an adultress. [To KENT] O, are you free? Some other time for that. Beloved Regan, Thy sister's naught: O Regan, she hath tied Sharp-tooth'd unkindness, like a vulture, here: [Points to his heart] I can scarce speak to thee; thou'lt not believe With how depraved a quality--O Regan! REGAN I pray you, sir, take patience: I have hope You less know how to value her desert Than she to scant her duty. LEAR Say, how is that? REGAN I cannot think my sister in the least Would fail her obligation: if, sir, perchance She have restrain'd the riots of your followers, 'Tis on such ground, and to such wholesome end, As clears her from all blame. LEAR My curses on her! REGAN O, sir, you are old. Nature in you stands on the very verge Of her confine: you should be ruled and led By some discretion, that discerns your state Better than you yourself. Therefore, I pray you, That to our sister you do make return; Say you have wrong'd her, sir. LEAR Ask her forgiveness? Do you but mark how this becomes the house: 'Dear daughter, I confess that I am old; [Kneeling] Age is unnecessary: on my knees I beg That you'll vouchsafe me raiment, bed, and food.' REGAN Good sir, no more; these are unsightly tricks: Return you to my sister. LEAR Never, Regan: She hath abated me of half my train; Look'd black upon me; struck me with her tongue, Most serpent-like, upon the very heart: All the stored vengeances of heaven fall On her ingrateful top! Strike her young bones, You taking airs, with lameness! CORNWALL Fie, sir, fie! LEAR You nimble lightnings, dart your blinding flames Into her scornful eyes! Infect her beauty, You fen-suck'd fogs, drawn by the powerful sun, To fall and blast her pride! REGAN O the blest gods! so will you wish on me, When the rash mood is on. LEAR No, Regan, thou shalt never have my curse: Thy tender-hefted nature shall not give Thee o'er to harshness: her eyes are fierce; but thine Do comfort and not burn. 'Tis not in thee To grudge my pleasures, to cut off my train, To bandy hasty words, to scant my sizes, And in conclusion to oppose the bolt Against my coming in: thou better know'st The offices of nature, bond of childhood, Effects of courtesy, dues of gratitude; Thy half o' the kingdom hast thou not forgot, Wherein I thee endow'd. REGAN Good sir, to the purpose. LEAR Who put my man i' the stocks? [Tucket within] CORNWALL What trumpet's that? REGAN I know't, my sister's: this approves her letter, That she would soon be here. Enter GONERIL LEAR This is a slave, whose easy-borrow'd pride Dwells in the fickle grace of her he follows. Out, varlet, from my sight! CORNWALL What means your grace? LEAR Who stock'd my servant? Regan, I have good hope Thou didst not know on't. Who comes here? O heavens, If you do love old men, if your sweet sway Allow obedience, if yourselves are old, Make it your cause; send down, and take my part! [To GONERIL] Art not ashamed to look upon this beard? O Regan, wilt thou take her by the hand? GONERIL Why not by the hand, sir? How have I offended? All's not offence that indiscretion finds And dotage terms so. LEAR O sides, you are too tough; Will you yet hold? How came my man i' the stocks? CORNWALL I set him there, sir: but his own disorders Deserved much less advancement. LEAR You! did you? REGAN I pray you, father, being weak, seem so. If, till the expiration of your month, You will return and sojourn with my sister, Dismissing half your train, come then to me: I am now from home, and out of that provision Which shall be needful for your entertainment. LEAR Return to her, and fifty men dismiss'd? No, rather I abjure all roofs, and choose To wage against the enmity o' the air; To be a comrade with the wolf and owl,-- Necessity's sharp pinch! Return with her? Why, the hot-blooded France, that dowerless took Our youngest born, I could as well be brought To knee his throne, and, squire-like; pension beg To keep base life afoot. Return with her? Persuade me rather to be slave and sumpter To this detested groom. [Pointing at OSWALD] GONERIL At your choice, sir. LEAR I prithee, daughter, do not make me mad: I will not trouble thee, my child; farewell: We'll no more meet, no more see one another: But yet thou art my flesh, my blood, my daughter; Or rather a disease that's in my flesh, Which I must needs call mine: thou art a boil, A plague-sore, an embossed carbuncle, In my corrupted blood. But I'll not chide thee; Let shame come when it will, I do not call it: I do not bid the thunder-bearer shoot, Nor tell tales of thee to high-judging Jove: Mend when thou canst; be better at thy leisure: I can be patient; I can stay with Regan, I and my hundred knights. REGAN Not altogether so: I look'd not for you yet, nor am provided For your fit welcome. Give ear, sir, to my sister; For those that mingle reason with your passion Must be content to think you old, and so: But she knows what she does. LEAR Is this well spoken? REGAN I dare avouch it, sir: what, fifty followers? Is it not well? What should you need of more? Yea, or so many, sith that both charge and danger Speak 'gainst so great a number? How, in one house, Should many people, under two commands, Hold amity? 'Tis hard; almost impossible. GONERIL Why might not you, my lord, receive attendance From those that she calls servants or from mine? REGAN Why not, my lord? If then they chanced to slack you, We could control them. If you will come to me,-- For now I spy a danger,--I entreat you To bring but five and twenty: to no more Will I give place or notice. LEAR I gave you all-- REGAN And in good time you gave it. LEAR Made you my guardians, my depositaries; But kept a reservation to be follow'd With such a number. What, must I come to you With five and twenty, Regan? Said you so? REGAN And speak't again, my lord; no more with me. LEAR Those wicked creatures yet do look well-favour'd, When others are more wicked: not being the worst Stands in some rank of praise. [To GONERIL] I'll go with thee: Thy fifty yet doth double five and twenty, And thou are twice her love. GONERIL Hear me, my lord; What need you five and twenty, ten, or five, To follow in a house where twice so many Have a command to tend you? REGAN What need one? LEAR O, reason not the need: our basest beggars Are in the poorest thing superfluous. Allow not nature more than nature needs, Man's life's as cheap as beast's: thou are a lady; If only to go warm were gorgeous, Why, nature needs not what thou gorgeous wear'st, Which scarcely keeps thee warm. But, for true need,-- You heavens, give me that patience, patience I need! You see me here, you gods, a poor old man, As full of grief as age; wretched in both! If it be you that stir these daughters' hearts Against their father, fool me not so much To bear it tamely; touch me with noble anger, And let not women's weapons, water-drops, Stain my man's cheeks! No, you unnatural hags, I will have such revenges on you both, That all the world shall--I will do such things,-- What they are, yet I know not: but they shall be The terrors of the earth. You think I'll weep No, I'll not weep: I have full cause of weeping; but this heart Shall break into a hundred thousand flaws, Or ere I'll weep. O fool, I shall go mad! [Exeunt LEAR, GLOUCESTER, KENT, and FOOL] [Storm and tempest] CORNWALL Let us withdraw; 'twill be a storm. REGAN This house is little: the old man and his people Cannot be well bestow'd. GONERIL 'Tis his own blame; hath put himself from rest, And must needs taste his folly. REGAN For his particular, I'll receive him gladly, But not one follower. GONERIL So am I purposed. Where is my lord of Gloucester? CORNWALL Follow'd the old man forth: he is return'd. Re-enter GLOUCESTER GLOUCESTER The king is in high rage. CORNWALL Whither is he going? GLOUCESTER He calls to horse; but will I know not whither. CORNWALL 'Tis best to give him way; he leads himself. GONERIL My lord, entreat him by no means to stay. GLOUCESTER Alack, the night comes on, and the bleak winds Do sorely ruffle; for many miles about There's scarce a bush. REGAN O, sir, to wilful men, The injuries that they themselves procure Must be their schoolmasters. Shut up your doors: He is attended with a desperate train; And what they may incense him to, being apt To have his ear abused, wisdom bids fear. CORNWALL Shut up your doors, my lord; 'tis a wild night: My Regan counsels well; come out o' the storm. [Exeunt]