Offred has just experienced some very significant events. Sneaking out, being kissed by Nick, and finding out that the Commander wants to speak to her alone. She has a hard time describing how she feels...so she uses synesthesia. She feels like the sound glass makes when you swirl a wet finger around its rim. Because of being touched earlier by Nick? Or is she tensed up like glass ready to shatter? This idea of touch is becoming more of a motif now. It also makes the reader question her motives throughout. What is the more powerful motivation within her (before, now, and later in the narrative)? Love or lust? Can you have one without the other in a romantic relationship? She expands on the idea in this chapter. She jumps back in time to Luke. (Go figure!) She was pregnant. She discusses how the baby within her can hear the outside world and can be scared. But also be comforted. All the things everyone needs. They will make love anyway. She says that lack of love kills you, not lack of...
Chapter 18
Part VII: Night
Chapter Summary
In bed on the same night, Offred remembers being in bed with Luke while she was pregnant. She physically needs to sleep by him again, for love not sex. But sex with anyone would be better than no love. She spends the rest of the chapter debating on all possibilities of what happened to Luke: dead on the day of the escape, imprisoned in a cell somewhere, or he made it out via the Quakers. She wants to hope and wonders if Luke, too, is alive to hope.